I just wanted to write something briefly before I forget it, or Satan and time lose me this revelation. I went to a Christian counsellor yesterday, and it was very encouraging. Was nice to have someone appreciate that it sucks to not have family around or see my parents once a year. It was really good to have a fellow Believer encourage creativity and truth in my life. She talked about being a prophetic ministry, and shared two things that really stuck with me: One was that she gets great leaders in the Kingdom come to her. After sharing some of my life story she said she really felt/knew that God had something particular and special in mind for me, and that it wasn't easy/hadn't been, but to remember this life is not our home. It was a direct encouragement from the Lord and I did feel empowered to walk forth in that renewed realization. To expect God to show up, expect Him to be growing me in the pain, rather than losing hope.
The 2nd thing was that there has been a cloud of darkness and despair over people in Aroostook county for years. She's from here and clarified that she says it with love and a broken heart, but she wasn't surprised when I mentioned that so many people I've met (especially at work) are very negative and quick to rain on any excitement I may be feeling. Especially if I say I'm excited for snow or winter I get told I'm being foolish and don't know what I'm saying and how I will regret those words. I have felt beaten down emotionally on many levels, and when the counsellor said this - it was as if a shaft of light hit the situation and I could see it for the spiritual battle that it is. No wonder I have been sinking into deeper depression since being here, no wonder so many things have been unnecessarily hard. No wonder I have felt God led me here only to arrive and wonder why. I walked out with a much lighter spirit than I have been feeling.
As a sort of followup - tonight God made my lava lamp start working. This lamp has been in storage for nearly 7 years. I strongly requested my mom ship it in my stuff from Reno because it has sentimental value being from one of my brothers. But when it arrived I couldn't get the wax to do its thing. Had the right bulb in, and it would warm up and start to move a bit, but never bubbled into bits that floated up and down. It was essentially broke. Defunct. I mentioned it to my mom the other night and she agreed that it was weird and kind of annoying since it'd been so particularly kept. Well, tonight, I turned it on, and noticed soon afterwards that it was actually 'doing its thing'. I smiled. Then laughed, feeling again as if God had unfastened a heavy hold on my heart. Now, I know that it is my days off, so I am already feeling better because of that. I know that I am not on-call again for a couple of weeks, which helps me feel lighter too. But I don't want Satan's 'practicality' or over-analysis to rob me of praising the Lord and appreciating what He has shown me.
So I've written these down to remember. like setting up my alter of stones.

Today's musings

I just watched Gromit spend a satisfying 7 minutes playing with a cooked green bean. He had a contented purr the entire time and batted it back and forth, picked it up and moved it. He batted it off the couch, played on the floor with it for a bit, and then grabbed it and placed it back on the couch. It'd roll down towards me and be lost in the crease of the couch and my leg. Then he'd try diving for it, fail miserably, and I'd rescue it and place it further out on the couch again. It was quite fun to watch him. :)

Today was beautiful. I was also really able to focus in church and even though I checked the on-call phone a couple of times, I was able to do it calmly, without great trepidation. I was very thankful for the Lord's peace. And I was also grateful that there weren't any calls during church or even directly afterwards (or earlier in the morning for that matter either!).

I chatted with a girl at church I'd met once before a couple of weeks ago. She'd been out of town a lot and not been in most of the times I'd been going, hence only meeting once. Today we were able to have a proper conversation downstairs over drinks and snacks in the fellowship hall. What fun to find someone else about my age, interested in tea and movies and good books (Jane Austen was discussed) and teaching who was fun and vibrant! She had liked my hat the previous time we met, and today liked my new (to me) pink wool jacket, and we commented on the great finds made at op-shops. I felt like I may have finally met someone up here who is similar in spirit to me, not just job. While people at work are super lovely and we enjoy chatting about lives outside of the clinic, I miss talking God and getting really animated about art and English with someone. And I did today. It was very very nice. It was also very very nice to not talk vet for a while. Happy sigh.

 Plenty of calls today, but nothing yet that I needed to go in for. If I believed in luck or the ability to sway God with simple actions I would say 'Finger's crossed.' But I don't. I do, however, believe in a God who is actually all-powerful. This same God loves me intensely, and actually knows me intimately. Far more so than anyone else. Not only is He all-powerful, incredibly loving, and KNOW me, He has also planned good things for me. Good things to do, to be a part of, to have happen to.

I struggle to remember that when I am on call, or heading into work for the 'long' 3 days in a row. I struggle to keep fear at bay and hold onto His promises to never leave me and never forsake me. Because there's a lot of forsaking going on in the world. Sadly I do it at times too. This broken world has rotten necrotic shadows tainting every bit of it. God is the only good thing. And God so loved the whole wide world, that He gave Jesus, His only son, so that whoever believes in Jesus (as His sin-taker and place-maker) gets to have eternal LIFE. And anything else good in the world - comes from God. So when a surgery goes more quickly than I anticipated/dreaded, or when a followup consult shows a treatment success, a client is warm and welcoming, a difficult case is diagnosed, or there's some fun banter going on out back, that is God and His goodness.

It is also God and His goodness that helped me to not dread the calls last night, instead feeling concern for patients and wondering if some we'd seen that day were doing alright that night. It was a nice feeling, to not just feel put-upon or anxious. It is also God and His goodness that lets my purring kitten drape himself happily all over me or snuggle next to me for cuddles. God's goodness gives me a boss who is quick to praise and slow to be negative; quick to answer my calls and quick to support me. She is also a boss who takes the phone when I am sick, stays for an emergency just after closing rather than call me in, and shares food, hottubs, and life. She is a VERY gracious person, and I certainly couldn't have asked for a better new-grad boss. That is God's goodness to me.
So - when I am feeling overwhelmed, frustrated by surgeries, tired, homesick, apathetic, worried for Strudel, slow to process, and confused by clinical presentations, I will remember that God is good and has spread His goodness willingly around me. I want to trust Him to continue to do that.

Just call me Dr Almost Death

This morning presented a very normal experience, I suspect. But as it is still mildly interesting, and as I think others will enjoy the fact that it was me, and not them, I will relay it. I also felt, immediately afterward, that it was a very James Herriot experience, which encouraged me, and helped me to find the funny side of it. I am on call this week, which means I have the phone that rings, sometimes in the middle of the night. I then shudder and answer the phone, take note of what the answering service is telling me regarding someone who's called and what the issue is. I then call the person, try to respond intelligently, and pray inwardly that it is not an emergency and I can either go back to bed or continue with whatever else I am doing. My first week, I've averaged about one call each night requiring attention. Last night I had none. hmmmm. suspiciously 'nice'. Wake up this morning with a sore throat. I am not surprised as I've had a terrible headache all week and one of the receptionists has been horrifically sick at work. Think happy, and dreading, thoughts about how the phone hasn't rung all night and speculating when it might ring next. Contemplate and message to chat with parents, hear no reply. Get hot tea, sit on couch, and the phone rings. So and so is calling, the dog had a seizure, is a very old dog, they think now is a good time to euthanase. I encourage them to keep the dog quiet for a bit, I will get ready and meet them at the clinic. Agree. click. Groan! Message parents, can't chat, love you, hope you have a good night. poo. Shower, make more hot tea and I head up to work. Am getting pretty good at opening the door and getting the code punched in for the alarm. ta da! Then turn on computer, open safe, get forms out, find the animal's record, and wait. My boss comes in to check on one of our friendly boarding cats, tells me where she'll be if I need any help, and away she goes. I start to read some comics I brought while waiting, and drink my tea. Owner's friend (lady who rang) arrives and I discuss options. Owner had decided best to euthanase, Friend fills out form, and then I go out and help her bring in the dog - who is a bit grouchy so gets a muzzle, and in a difficult position but we finally get her on the stretcher and walked inside. I decide we'll just take care of her on the floor in the waiting area, rather than walk further into the clinic, and then lug her back out (she is a nice hefty dog). Soo...then I go and get the Lethabarb (glad I already opened the safe!), tourniquet, clippers, and alcohol. Realize I forgot to put deodorant on in my haste this morning, feeling a bit icky. Praying that God helps me get the vein. God decides it is better for me to not get it right away. Apply tourniquet to right arm, shave a section, see the vein, stick the needle, draw back - no blood. no problem, just redirect. No blood. Damn vein - where are you?! (Please God, help me get the vein. God still says no) Pull out, assess vein - yes, it does appear and feel to be right there. Awkwardly crouched on the floor, Friend holding the dog's head. "hmm, she has low blood pressure, it's quite difficult to get this vein." Retry. nothing. Dog flails a bit, and Friend asks is it done yet. Ha, I wish! "Sorry, not yet. having trouble with this vein. I will try the other side. Very sorry" - that's okay, she replies generously. So we swap sides. This is even slightly more of an awkward position. Apply tourniquet to left leg, shave, pleading with God, stick needle. Some blood, loosen tourniquet, dog decides to thrash, vein blown. In my desperate hope I decide to inject some anyway. I decide I am not convinced until I have nearly injected all of it, and can definitely see the vein is blown. Damn! Could this be any worse?! Friend asks "is that enough solution then?" sigh. "I am very sorry, the vein has blown, I will have to go get some more." "ok". get new syringe, new needle, more solution from the back. Begging God - for the Friend's sake, please let me get this dog humanely killed! pause, breathe, realise I am a bit shaky, go back out. Rather than making the Friend move to the other side again, I decide to try the right front leg from my left awkward position. Reapply tourniquet, needle, some satisfying draw-back, loosen tourniquet, inject quickly. finally. the old dog can just sleep the happy sleep of death, finally going to doggy heaven. I listen for a long time to be sure she has gone. Yes, she's gone. Friend gets blanket, I realise I should've done the billing first. Hope it goes smoothly. it does not. I already had the invoice made up (another small victory), Friend pulls out card - rats, I don't do cards yet. I attempt to figure out how to use the machine. Nope. it's not having it. I swipe a few times, sigh again - I'm so sorry, I will just have to bill you as I can't figure out the machine, Friend tries but also doesn't know. She says that is fine, she will come in on Tuesday (monday is a holiday). I help her out with the dog, say something awkwardly (not a good time to wish her a happy weekend), walk back inside. Now I realise I am not feeling so hot, my throat is still sore, I am starting to feel a bit feverish, and now quite jittery. Ahhhhhh. Throughout the Friend is more than gracious in this very frustrating moment. I try not to think about what she might be relaying back to the Owner about the experience, sit for a bit and wonder when the phone will ring next, and then drive home.

Third time around and learning more grace

Well it's my 3rd time to get sick with a cold/flu this semester. When I get sick, I tend to get sick. The first two times got me down quite a bit as I missed a lot of classes and pracs, including surgeries. The part that got me down more was how I didn't really care that I'd missed them - I would happily stay in bed and read or watch movies; my heart had gotten tired of trying to excel in vet. Many days I don't feel I have the energy or will to be a vet anymore. It's not really a matter of excelling it seems, it's more a matter of struggling to pass, to just make it through the material.
This semester especially has felt like being waist-deep in thick mud out to sea - come way too far to turn back, but the end is so impossibly far away. There are my classmates alongside me and far ahead, and because it's a semester and there are deadlines and exams and after that a short break and then pracs and the next year nearly nonstop there is a sort of ticking clock loudly sounding in my ear that I must not only not stop, but I must start running. Walking is no longer good enough. But it's seeming an incredible feat in this mud. Just when I feel like I'm finally gaining some momentum and interest in forging ahead I get knocked down again with another cold.
At the end of the last bout of sickness I was feeling very despondant until God spoke some encouragement to me through the book 'Lord of my Rocking Boat' by Carol Mayhall (a book I'd previously read and learned much from). Still, it was a struggle. Through all of this has come an overwhelming feeling of stress and when I'm stressed I need to escape people to be alone and process things. But that's not been possible this semester until a couple of weeks ago I was housesitting for 10 days and had a space to myself. I revelled in it, and God gave me a short rest, but it's merely a short respite. So I'm processing and learning and trying to rely on God, learning to trust His good will, trying to be disciplined, and often failing miserably.
And now I find myself knocked back again. This time I want it to be different - I want to not give up on uni and study, but to try and push myself to be diligent even whilst sick. Hopefully it'll help me recover quicker and maintain a more positive spirit towards being a vet. Also if I'm not diligent I won't get an assignment done (worth 15%) and will miss some excellent pracs let alone being hours of material behind. Mostly I want to remember in the midst of this: God is good. If He's allowed something painful in my life I can rest in the knowledge that He will turn it for my good; that He may be trying to teach me something; that He holds the mysteries of these sorts of problems therefore I can trust Him. As Carol Mayhall has done in the past I have recounted the ways God has taken care of me and showered His love and grace on me in the past - He IS Good. Therefore I can trust Him no matter what it feels like now. So I spent some good time learning from His word this morning: Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in your richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. (Col 3:15-16)
Truthfully I haven't been eating healthy the past few weeks which has probably strongly contributed to this 3rd round - but still I have been building up my strength in other ways by getting back into walking and trying to get good sleep and spending the time with God that feeds my soul. I don't think this sickness is entirely (or even mostly?) my fault - things don't seem any different this semester to the 7 before except that I came back exhausted from my UK trip. I haven't forgotten that God told me this semester would be hard - as I was flying back from England and about to embark on another crazy semester after a whirlwind of activity during my winter 'break' I could feel the Holy Spirit telling me it wouldn't be easy, but He'd be with me. He was telling me then that the difficulty would be around my learning to be more honest/open/truthful with people. No more subtle manipulation of conversations, or speaking before I could answer truthfully. No little lies to smooth over an uncomfortable question. And I have been more aware of that. But it seems that was only part of the story. I was not expecting to battle with this physical weakness as well. It has given me more empathy for people who find themselves chronically ill or who become handicapped, when their world is turned upside down and they must learn to define themselves differently. Some things I've been (re)learning (aside from God's Goodness):
My worth doesn't revolve around what I do. No one's does.
God's grace must be sufficient, He says it is, and nothing else is bearing my burden
God alone is my strength, He must be acknowledged as the only One who carries me
Vet school is very hard
I feel very stupid
I can be a very weak-minded individual, but He reminds me of prior growth lest I despair
Only Jesus can help me to be a decent sort of vet if He enables me to get through this
I am so looking foward to Christmas break and not thinking about school or tricky diagnoses stuff until pracs in Jan.
Well, it's late now. I've been singing a bit to Jesus - those 'spiritual songs' :) I need to sleep if I'm to recover so I'm off to bed. His grace is sufficient. Even if I fail this earth test He has promised He is making me/already made me just like Jesus, I don't fail heaven's test.

Coventry

I'm back in England! My time in Scotland finished well - the last few days at the vet clinic were amazing like normal, with another couple of calving difficulties that let me practice my skills learned in the dystocia pracs at uni, among other things. Everyone was incredibly warm and welcoming and truly they are a great bunch of people. Special thanks again to Freda and Ronnie, and Kenneth for hosting me, and for Pauline for the trip down to Inverness.

Seeing Louise has been great – she looks exactly the same lovely self as I remember more than 10 years ago from Ambon and when she visited us in the US. Meeting Harry has been good and we celebrated his 3^rd birthday yesterday! He let me carry him a few times on Monday (before he started feeling rather poorly) when we were at a lovely park around Coombe Abbey. Meeting his younger sister Hannah is spectacular as she’s so quick to smile and grin at you and since she hasn’t been sick (unlike poor Harry) she’s quite happy for me to hold her and quick to be entertained. In fact I was apparently special enough that she handed me her spoon to feed her her yoghurt – a privilege previously only available to Harry. Go me! :) Seeing Dave again was bizarre because he had only stayed with my family for a week or two in Ambon many years ago when he was visiting Louise, but as soon as I saw him I recalled he looked exactly the same as all those years ago when he was such an easy-going guest (when I had a rather big crush on his cute self I must say). They are both so warm and friendly, I feel very much like a much-loved younger sister which does my heart good. And all thanks to God, I have been adjusting very well to having Harry and Hannah around. Having not been around little kids, for extended periods of time, in a while I was anticipating it being quite full-on. And it is, but not as tiring as it could/should have been, and I’m thankful for that. Louise and I have been having some excellent, deep, heart-felt, sometimes silly chats and catching up on years worth of stuff, and talking about God and life like good friends do. And staying up too late as usual. Last night it was just us after the kids were in bed, and we made decadent hot-chocolate (further discussion on hot chocolate following) with cream and marshmallows and started the movie Hairspray only to keep chatting through the beginning until we paused it, finished chatting for another 30 min or so, and started it over again. By this time it was getting late so we only watched the first half (or less?) and went to bed at 11. 

One thing I love about Louise, and something she apparently doesn't appreciate, is how beautiful she is. She oozes beauty. She has big warm eyes, cute swishy hair, a lovely huge smile, great fingers (I always notice hands), very cute figure, and then to top all of that off - the biggest, most patient heart to go along with it. She doesn't always think so, and I know sometimes she has to grit her teeth like any mom with toddlers, but she is very patient with her kids, and Harry and Hannah adore her and know they are loved. And Dave adores her too, as any proper husband would! She has that wonderful gift of making everyone else even more lovely whenever she's around. She's a gorgeous and encouraging wife, patient mother, loving daughter, great sister, and heartfelt friend. I can only hope and pray that God continues to speak His truth about her beauty into her heart. 

Because it’s Harry’s birthday this week, and Dave’s is on Monday, there’s a big birthday celebration on Saturday, and throughout the week family on Louise’s and Dave’s sides are converging on the house to stay as well as a full gaggle of guests on Sat.

Tomorrow we’re going to Coventry’s last royal show (like the Perth Royal Show – an ag show) – they’re stopping it after many, many years. I can’t remember exactly but it’s a lot. A lot. :) This is the last year, which is a bit sad, but at least I get to go! Always fun to see the animals. 

Speaking of the hot chocolate before, I went to a café just down the street from Louise and Dave’s and ordered a large hot chocolate and they asked the obligatory question ‘do you want cream, etc on it’ to which I replied with the obvious answer ‘yes please’ and sat down to read my book. They brought it by and I must say this has to be one of the largest mugs of hot chocolate I’ve ever had the privilege of appreciating from a café. It was enormous, and on the top was a tower a good 2 inches high of proper whipped cream heavily dusted with chocolate and next to the mug, on the saucer it was sitting on, was a gigantic mound of tiny marshmallows; and I am not exaggerating. My eyes lit up and I very nearly clapped my hands in unexpected glee. This had far, far exceeded my expectations, in fact raising the bar for any time I make my own hot chocolate. 

Long catchup

A lot has happened since Saturday, but I'll start with the weekend. I had a very relaxing weekend. Sat came across one of the vets with his family, so we had a nice chat - he asked how I was doing and I said I'd had a sleep in. He commented that surely the first week wasn't so bad! I explained it wasn't - I'm just an introvert and have been finding it all stressful despite how wonderful people were! He looked almost bewildered for a moment, and said: hmm, you hide it well. You don't come across as an introvert. :) I think I liked that. I want so hard to put people at ease, and I am a peace maker and also hate awkward scenarios and chatting with people is a great thing - it helps set them at ease which makes me feel more at ease, it lets people know you care and frankly, having people like you has definite advantages!!! So I was glad that despite feeling tired at times, they clearly thought I was generally comfortable, so job well done. But also I was glad that I was able to explain that it wasn't always easy. 

Anyway, Sunday I went with Ronnie and Freda to the church Ronnie has been a minister in for 25 years. What faithfulness! It is a Church of Scotland church and is much more traditional that I am used to, but I really enjoyed it. It was a communion service - and we had port! mmm, a bit more bite than grape juice! ;) sadly the singing was hymns I didn't know, but Ronnie's message was great - he talked about how Jesus rescues us from our own personal hells - the places in our hearts and minds where we can't escape the guilt of things we've done/thoughts we've had. As well as enables us to call out to Him. It was a very encouraging message, and I listened intently. Everyone was so incredibly friendly and welcoming, and despite Ronnie's potentially-embarrassing welcome to the 2 guests (me being the one no one else knew!) I felt at home there, worshipping the same God these people do. I so needed that encouragement also because I've been missing going to church, have had to miss the past 2 weeks for traveling, and I miss that fellowship with fellow Believers.

the view of the back of the Castle of Mey

After a light lunch Freda took me to the Castle of Mey - a beautiful 15th century castle bought in the 1950s by Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother - she renovated it and stayed there for a month every year until her death at 101. She visited the area (Freda has met her a couple of times) and climbed up the stairs in her castle home every day she was there until her death - what an incredibly strong woman! The land is beautiful, right on the coast (it's quite near Thurso) with rolling green hills and a prize-winning Angus herd the queen had built up. The castle itself is also very beautiful with lots of windows and little nooks and crannies, although the stairways are tight, steep spiral staircases, I can't imagine going up them every day - let alone the queen! The castle now belongs to Prince Charles Duke of Rothesay who also visits every year. It was awesome to get to tour a castle currently owned by royalty, a real working/living castle. It was a very nice trip - thanks to Freda for shouting me the ticket too!

 some of the views from around the castle - which is up the hill on the left. 

Monday and I was off to work again. This time I remembered to pray for some specific things which included: that the day would go by fast and I wouldn't be afraid to have a go. The day did go by fast - I headed out with William by 9:30 to go out to the next county - Sutherland. We had 3 farms to dehorn and castrate calves. Straight away William had me giving the cornual nerve block for the dehorning in the first farm. Then after a couple of shows I manned the cauterising dehorner (is that called something? I'm sure it is...). Then we drove further down the road to the next place, had to drive to 3 locations to find where they'd got the cows, and it was a 'rodeo' as William put it. Very much out of hand - they had the calves and cows separate fortunately, and penned. But the handlers weren't so skilled, and/or were still uncoordinated from their hangover they freely admitted to. Will got frustrated a few times and I didn't really blame him, as calves got out of the crush and turned around, and through the wrong openings. It took twice as long as necessary to get them done. There I learned how to use the big clippers for the horns, as well as giving the nerve block injections (5ml lignocaine+adrenaline each side =10ml/calf) - and still watching Will castrate. At the 3rd farm - they were much better prepared again (like the first place) and no dramas at all. This time I got to castrate 4 calves too. I naturally am not as good, nor as fast, but am happy with my results. 

At each farm the farmers have been ultra friendly and encouraging, and patient/willing for me to have a go whenever Will suggested it. No one (not that I was aware of anyway) rolled their eyes or despaired over my being slower. They all wanted to know what I was doing, where I was from, how I was liking it, etc. Nothing like being made to feel welcome! 

So after one other stop to look at a horse we were back to the clinic at 4:30! (we'd stopped and had lunch by the sea - ahhh) We'd driven nearly 90miles that day in some beautiful country. The day certainly went by fast! At the clinic a rabbit came in that was off his feed (bad sign) and not making proper poo, so I suggested doing the fluids in the ear vein as I'd seen that recommended in my fabulous BSAVA rabbit book. So I got to place my first catheter, and into a rabbit! That was cool, it snagged a bit, but got the vein. need to practice the coordination of it all, but was pleased. Unfortunately it wasn't wrapped enough, and in our attempts to move him and feed him he pulled it out :( so we then just did subcut catheter for fluids. 

Today - Tuesday, I prayed the same things, I was grateful yesterday had gone quickly. Today allergies flared up again - irritating! My loratidine is not working very well...so got to work and decided to stick around the clinic, and got to do some exciting things there too. I was able to watch a ewe caesarean (just like a cow only she's on a table), and got to actually do an exploratory laparotomy - incision and a quick stitch up, and watch a large lump removed over the right elbow of a dog (well circumscribed lump, we'll see what the path says), and at the end of the day held the rabbit and directed for taking his temp, and cleaning up his rear-end from being all matted and clotted with urine/faeces (poor thing! - but he's eating fresh grass! yah!) and then feeding him. So that was nice to hold a rabbit :D

And now I'm back writing this. The day wasn't as fast as yesterday, but it did go by, and I got to do some things, and watch some things, and have some great chats with Guy about God and Christian life and feel satisfied. Tomorrow I'm shifting over to Kenneth's after work so that Ronnie and Freda can get their house ready for their family coming for a visit next week. I will miss staying with them, but have had a wonderful time, and I know that I will enjoy my time at Kenneth's too. He is a very easy-going kind of guy. Thanks God, for 2 great days.

observations

So I've noticed that a lot of things about Scotland are true - they do say lad and lass, och and ay, they do talk with a lovely lilt, they do have Border collies and Scottish terriers and Shetland ponies. There are some, but used to be more, Highland Cattle. You can buy a full kilt in at least one of the shops downtown. It's absolutely beautiful up here in Thurso, and so remote.

This is the view from my room at Ronnie and Freda's

It's not crowded at all! The other day Freda was complaining about a traffic jam - there were 3 cars waiting to turn right across a road, waiting for less than a couple of minutes. The hills are green with rich lovely grass (good for laminitis so horse owner's watch out!) while little white daisies dot my hosts' yard. Tons of people have gardens (same as in England) and it's windy because we're right off the coast and there's not much to stop it.

This is the sort of community centre - "Caithness Horizons" - it's also a visitor's centre with heaps of great museum stuff and videos to watch educating you about the area. Highly recommend it. And how cool is the building!?!

I was up late reading a book last night and it was still not fully dark, it was more like deep dusk, and it was midnight.

Freda and her daughter Pauline took me to Dunnet Head on Thurs night - this is about 7:30pm

Today I'm enjoying no responsibilities, chatted with my mom, about to head downtown and check out some of the shops, and then have lunch with Ronnie and Freda in a nice cafe by the beach. It's another beautiful sunny day, and my allergies are trying to make a strong comeback (yesterday was bad) but I'm trying to beat them back with an ugly stick. Either way I'm determined to enjoy this weekend!

DS McGregor and Partners

So this practice is amazing - there are 7 vets and a full-time wonderful staff and they are all fabulous. Because there are usually 4+ vets on at a time (at least it seems to be that way the past week) there is heaps of stuff going on at a time, and they are truly mixed practice, with 2 vets doing strictly large animals, and the others doing both. And I do mean both. One might do small animal consults that morning then take care of a sick calf that afternoon. Someone else might be out on large animal consults all day, whereas another vet will be doing surgery. So as a student visiting I just pick which vet/case I want to see or be around that day.

So the past 4 days I've gotten to: help with a caesarean on a cow, preg test a cow, give physical exams on dogs, give injections on dogs, watch acupuncture on a dog, assist in euthanasia, help write out a horse's passport, do ultrasound on a dog's abdomen, read radiographs, check out a calf with diarrhoea, take blood samples, read a blood smear, see how to put in a catheter and drip line for a calf, and a cat, other things I've forgotten, and lots and lots of observing and questioning and explaining. And for whatever reason when these vets question me I don't feel threatened or freak out like in an exam scenario, I feel at ease enough to think and have a go. Sometimes I'm spot on, other times I'm woefully off, but it's okay :) All of the farmers have been incredibly friendly as well, and most of the pet owners. I know this practice has a lot of students, and everyone else seems quite unsurprised and keen to know what my story is, particularly when they realize I'm an American studying in Australia, who grew up in Indonesia! haha, I get a lot of questions with that!

So if you're ever in the very northern tip of mainland Britain and require veterinary services, DS McGregor and Partners is the vet place for you! (literally, it's the only practice in the area, so it's such a great thing that they're awesome) and if you're a vet student and looking for a great mixed practice in a particularly lovely part of the world, then shout them an email.

Scotland's furthest edge

Well God is incredibly gracious and funny at the same time. Here I was trying to not freak out, trying to trust Him, yet toying with plans to just stay on the train and buy a return ticket and bail on the whole Scotland vet prac thing, when my travelling companions took their seats next to me on the train. Lo and behold, one is a vet! So we chatted about some things, and I asked a few intelligent questions (yah! Some of my brain still works!) and the scenery is so beautiful. So I’d ask him about sheep breeds, problems he sees commonly, etc. Still toying with the escape return trip. Can’t quite let myself let people down, yet. On autopilot I get off and have been telling God the whole way – help me, I’m totally scared! And the first overtly friendly stranger I’ve met is waiting for me, and that’s Freda, Kirsty’s aunt. A very cute older lady with short tight curly hair, short stature similar to my Grama in Reno, and a big smile beaming at me. Instantly felt better, and she drove me back the short distance to their house where Poppy met me (sweet Border Collie) and Ronnie bounded around in his tall lanky frame, and their house is so comfortable and I have a purple room (thought of you instantly Heidi!). It’s so funny because Freda had told me on the phone not to expect too much as they are simple folk and live simple lives, so I’m thinking – please God, let there be heated running water! Hahhaa! I told her about our different interpretations as we sat in their living room with TV and dvds nearby, thinking of the TV and tape deck in my room and the dryer in the hall, dishwasher in the kitchen, and lovely back garden, and yes, indoor heated running water. She laughed. I said I am a simple person myself, enjoying hanging with friends and what not. Then she told me about the broadband. And THAT is why God is very funny, and oh so gracious. Apart from my friends in England, they are the first people here who have welcomed me with open arms, so many people I’d ask for help or trying to be friendly and chatty, were completely uninterested; unexpectedly so. Instant ease with Ronnie and Freda. I’m going to borrow some of their Wellingtons (pretty girl ones with roses on them, brand new that they had gotten for a grown daughter of theirs, who may or may not still want them), and midge repellent. And they fed me so much food for dinner I was fairly certain I would pop. Although I’ll probably eat that much as I get busy at the clinic. 

The scenery on the way up was beautiful, lots of gorgeous hills and farmlands, with lots of sheep and cattle and a few horses. Forests and lots of lakes (or was it only a few lakes and we went in and out around them? Will need to look at the map…) and then later on stark hills and plains with no trees but covered in the green carpet. Beautiful. And bare. As we pulled away from one station saw a big pretty bird sitting on a fence post, later on in a great museum/community centre here in Thurso (“Caithness Horizons”) saw that it is a kind of buzzard. Weird though because I always attribute that title to a huge, ugly bird. This one looked like a falcon. I so don’t know my bird groupings. 

The sun won’t go down until around 11pm tonight, and will likely be getting bright by 3am. As I don’t have proper curtains or blinds on the window in my room I’m praying for a special darkness to cover my eyes until it’s time to wake up ;) So tomorrow I start a bit before 9am, and it will likely be full-on! I should be able to relax now, seeing as I’ve clearly survived so far and with such blessings, but I still get nervous about meeting new people and being intelligent or not and being in the way or just cowardly or stupid. But hopefully I’ve got enough heart to overcome that :D  and at the very least, I should have some interesting memories!

So, seeing as I have internet access here, at the very northern tip of Scotland of all places, (where just a bit further you could fall off as Freda said) I’ll still be accessible, and will hopefully keep up blogging if I’m not too knackered :)

 

Inverness

So I'm essentially taking a pause and not blogging about London yet, as there's much to tell and not quite enough energy to do it. The last couple of days have been incredibly busy involving heaps of walking around - my feet are sore! definitely will be investing in a new pair of shoes once I return...

here's just a little something I wrote on a red paper napkin/serviette whilst having dinner tonight. 

Here I sit in Madisons - "a casual dining restaurant" - after visiting with a lady from the bus to Inverness from the airport. This place (Inverness) seems even more fairy tale than parts of England for some reason. Possibly due to the abundance of church spires in such a small area reaching high into the dark grey sky above River Ness and surrounding green hills while sea gulls circle like a Hitchcock movie and a castle sits casually behind like it's no big deal. A castle! Right there!  Fascinating. There are still so many old houses, every other one is must be, and the main streets are lined with picturesque shops with pretty fronts (yum, my soup is so good!) The thing is - Virginia City, Nevada, looks a bit like this on the main strip - but as soon as you step down an alley, or to a back street, you realize it's a facade. Part I realize is that in the Old West it literally was just a cool front while the back of the building was just wood in a boring box shape, quick- whereas here the whole building is pretty stone-but it almost seems to me like it's trying to be a cool tourist spot - Inverness just is a cool tourist spot. But I'm no expert. And I do like Virginia City, and I've only been in Inverness for 5 hours! just some observations.

 River Ness

So tomorrow morning I head off to Thurso via train. That should be a fun train ride hopefully - should be some more gorgeous scenery. I start my prac Tues, so after arriving Monday arvo I've got a little bit of time to get ready for Tues's start. staying with a friend's aunt and uncle for the first 10days, then with her brother (one of the vets) for the last 4. I'm grateful for their hospitality, and praying God would continue to grant me favour with the people I stay with. 

more later...but not sure if I'll have internet in Thurso.

Twilight and rolling hills, sweets and 1100s.

My Wednesday afternoon was full of a variety of intrigues. A Katy, Malcolm and I went into High Wycombe and split off, I to a bookshop to get the next Twilight book, Malcolm off to school, and A Katy for a bit of shopping. The large mall was quite a pretty setup, seemingly open separate shops with a pedestrian street between. Three story high shiny new buildings with lots of nice glass and attractive shop windows, but as I looked up realized there was a nearly clear covering high over the walkway, bridging the 2 sides. Given the grey clouds at the time it blended in and was nearly invisible, but would serve as protection if it rained. I found the bookshop right away, walked in and breathed deeply. Always love the smell of books, new and old. Decided to get the rest of the series as there was a 3 for 2 deal, although annoyingly the last book was only available in hardcover. Now I have 4 enormous books to tote around with me…I think I’ll try to post them off to Perth as I finish them…More wandering, debating what to get for lunch because I realized my little granola bar would not suffice, and kept wandering back and forth in my indecision. Was quite certain the other shoppers (a few of whom I did pass multiple times…) thought I was lost. Decided to walk into a grocery store and get some cheese and crackers, instead bought an egg sandwich and these new Mars chocolates – Mars Planets – the various parts of a Mars bar separate and in chocolate balls. YUM!

After some more wanderings met A Katy at Morrisons (big grocery store she shops at) and we headed off to West Wycombe, a completely charming, ancient (1700-1800s) with some buildings being so old as to be brick with wood. We parked next to one said building, with an old-fashioned Sweets shop next door, and trundled off down one of the side streets to look at the pretty gardens and old houses. I feel a bit like Meg Ryan’s character in You’ve Got Mail because the old building with wood reminded me of The Prancing Pony in The Fellowship of the Ring movie – should places remind you of movies???

I commented to A Katy what it must feel like to be living in a place where if tourists do come by they certainly gawk and observe you and your normal life. And then I immediately followed that with, "well actually I know what that's like - probably highly similar to being a foreign white skin in Indo..."

Note: 1722 date above door on right

The old houses had such short doors and small rooms. Some on the main street were shops, someday I’ll have to visit again and look at more of them.

(yes, I realize I'm just standing here, and in a later one, rather than doing anything remotely interesting in the photo, but hey, sometimes one can't quite be as original as one wants)

real milk bottles!!!

Yah for beautiful countryside!

One thing I am loving about England is the vast amount of countryside, even immediately off of a city. Just past that person’s house one can see rolling green hills, with comfortable grass. Soft grass. The sort you actually want to go tramping along, and sit down on with a good book, journal, or picnic lunch.

Following our absolutely necessary perusal of the Sweets shop we drove off to Horsley’s Green – where the Wycliffe and SIL centre is. Waay beautiful and fun to see. I always feel at home walking into places like that, even though I don’t know any of them there, I’m a part of it, and they know where I’m from.

We just did a quick walk around and then headed off, via back roads, to Fingest where the Parish church of Saint Bartholomew was located. A church, I might add, built in the 12th century, the tower in early 12th century, the other part slightly later. I can’t even imagine a place that old. Quite cool. I bought a postcard for 25p on the honour system. This is one of the churches that A Katy’s friend is rector of as well, along with the ‘Vicar of Dibley’ church. Real churches. Pretty cool, even if they are much more traditional than I’m used to. Their friend preaches the gospel, and God was just as alive and real then as He is now. Very cool, God’s amazing faithfulness and love over the centuries. (and now I've used 'cool' 3 times to describe this in the last few sentences. uncool.)

After that we drove back home via some more excellent countryside. What a beautiful day.

First taste of the UK

I arrived in England Sun arvo and spent the rest of the day (after showering to return to human status again) chatting with A Katy and U Jock. Slept very well that night.
Monday woke early, helped myself to breakfast, was given a house key, and went off to explore a nearby woods.

The flat grey sky reminded me of all the things I'd heard about England's weather, and the forest was dark. After a short meander decided would rather look at the nearby houses and neighbourhoods than stay there, so took the nearest exit and thoroughly enjoyed the very "Englishness" of the area. Heaps of lovely gardens with large, fabulous brick homes and tons of window boxes and flowers splashed about. I knew what that flat grey sky was good for!

Randoms: a few Grit Salt containers sitting on the sidewalk, disbursed through the neighbourhood. Had a particularly satisfying moment when I came across a 'Wentworth Close' - sigh.

Post box in High Wycombe

A Katy took me into town to get a new SIM card and the mall was deciding to have an alarm check. How anyone could stay there for longer than a few moments was beyond me. When we got to the phone shop there was a further alarm from their shop! We had to stand outside suffering for a few minutes until it turned off and we could walk inside. Phone up and running in the UK - woohoo!

Little bit of walking downtown, Hobgoblin pub, then to a
grocery store where we met this fabulous gentleman manning the deli and cheeses. Quintessentially English, so I had to ask for a photo and he graciously complied :) Don't you just love the apron?

Spent the afternoon sitting in the very un-English sun in the back garden finishing Twilight (mm, must get the 2nd one now). That night Cia came by so got to chat with her a bit.

Tues dawned very bright and sunny and we went off to Henley-on-Thames - a very pretty town, and walked along the Thames after eating a picnic lunch on a parkbench trying not to be distracted by the pretty ducks. Very, very nice. I love all the green, and the gorgeous old houses, and the pretty shop fronts, and I love the big fields along the walk, and the ice cream spot (yum!), and chatting with U Jock and A Katy (who have condescended to my still calling them uncle and aunt), and taking pictures, and walking slow and enjoying the weather. I love that there was a boat called "Practically Perfect" - so Mary Poppins!

Downtown Henley-on-Thames

On the way back we drove on the smaller backroads and stopped to see where the Vicar of Dibley church was located! - what fun! U Jock and A Katy even are friends with the current, real, rector of the church. Further driving and we saw the windmill from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on a far-off hill - splendid.

Back at home went for a bit of a walk later, to the woods again, and after dinner the house was mine with U Jock and A Katy off to cell group, and Malcolm to hang with friends (returning with some excellent road rash) - so it was a night of relaxing for me. Now it's Wed and I think A Katy is dropping me off in High Wycombe for a look around, and to try and find a bookstore... this is definitely turning out to be the break I needed from exams before heading off to Scotland. God knew all along